


Mail Ordered

by mneiai



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mail Ordered Bride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-21
Updated: 2009-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-03 11:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mneiai/pseuds/mneiai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy gets a mail order bride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mail Ordered

Lian poked the boy again.

"This...wasn't what I expected." Roy stared at the shipping manifest, scratching his head and ignoring his mentor's snickering.

"You can buy boys?"

"No, Lian, honey, this is a mistake. This is...um...someone must have accidentally closed the box with the boy in it."

The boy in question opened his mouth, as if to say something, then shut it. Roy watched as he rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch beside Ollie, stealing the remote and surfing through the channels until he found G4.

Ollie stared. "Do you think the kid understands English?"

"I don't care! It says here that just by ordering a person from Kyrgaturkamenistan you're married according to their government. I was just supposed to be getting a cheap stereo!"

"This is why you should only buy American, kiddo."

"I'll have to send him back. Maybe sending him back will count as a divorce."

"No returns." The kid turned to look at him with bright blue eyes and a smirk on his face. "Do you have any Coke?"

Lian ran to the kitchen and back, clutching a can and offering it to the boy as if it were some precious treasure. "Here," she offered shyly. "Can I call you 'mommy'?"

Roy slammed his head into a nearby wall, Ollie cracked up, and the boy gave Lian a soft, restrained smile. He also took the Coke and started chugging it like some caffeine addict. Which made Roy wonder when the last time he had eaten anything was. Which just made the whole situation all the worse, because now he was feeling guilty over buying a mail-order-male-bride.

"You speak English?"

The boy's look said 'duh.' "I learned off TV. Lots of Baywatch and Charmed. Do you go to beach?"

"Um, er, we're actually landlocked, here."

"You should go to Disneyworld for your honeymoon!" Lian supplied.

Ollie glanced up. "I'll watch Lian, you boys go and have fun. It's not everyday my boy marries some foreign jailbait he's never met before."


End file.
